Tactical Force [Movie Review

                “Tactical Force” is the second of three movies starring Stone Cold Steve Austin that I found on Netflix.  I don’t know what sparked my desire to watch them, but I did.   At least this one has a slightly better plot than “The Stranger”.

                You could easily write this off as being “S.W.A.T. 2”, but apparently they’ve made that movie as well.  Steve Austin leaves a rebellious SWAT team that likes to solve the smallest of problems with the biggest of explosions.   It’s something we’ve all seen before, and hey, sometimes the hero even gets in trouble for doing more bad than good.

                Anyway, SCSA and company eventually get locked in a warehouse with some other bad dudes and it’s all about to go down in the most random of situations.   Did I mention that the heavy for the other side is played by Keith Jarrdine, the Dean of Mean?  

                When I saw the former UFC fighter come in, I knew I just had to wait for the big “pro wrestler vs. ultimate fighter” scene and it was worth it. 

                Michael Jai White also has a part in this movie, so as far as bad action movies go, this one isn’t so bad.  

The Stranger [Movie Review]

                This is one of the first movies I remember Steve Austin starring in after “The Condemned” and I really like “The Condemned”.   “The Stranger”, which is not based on the novel by Albert Camus, is a movie that will look good on Steve Austin’s acting resume, for experience purposes, but everyone else involved in it should be ashamed.

                In this sorted tale, Steve Austin’s character has lost his memory and the movie is spent trying to get it back and solve some sort of other plot problem.   It doesn’t really matter and the details are boring because you’ve likely seen this movie in other forms already.

                The best part of this movie is that I feel like this amnesia angle has been done before not only in movies but also on television.   That just makes this movie feel that much more dragged out.

                Do I like Stone Cold Steven Austin?  Sure.  Do I think he played his role well in this movie?  Sure.  Was the plot and writing not even mediocre?  Absolutely.

                Ahh, my memory just came rushing back to me as well.   The amnesia angle has been played before on the show “Monk”.   So I’d say just watch that show unless you’re a really huge Stone Cold fan in the sense that you must watch everything he has ever been in.

Dark Shadows [Movie Review]

                As Johnny Depp was starring in a movie based on a television series, so was a movie about a television series he had starred in being released.   As it stands though, I saw the 21 Jump Street movie and didn’t find it to be worth watching a second time over, yet loved the show.   “Dark Shadows” is a movie that I enjoy, though I’ve never seen the show before.

                A lot of this movie is Johnny Depp wearing really heavy makeup and acting out of place because he is in the wrong century.   So, yeah, it’s pretty much like most other Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaborations. 

                Since I also watched this movie after “The Rum Diary”, this means that I have now seen every movie Johnny Depp has been in except for “The Lone Ranger” because it’s not on DVD yet and I don’t go to the movies. 

                Watching this movie, which is a dark comedy in some sense, makes me analyze the relationship between Johnny Depp and Tim Burton.  I wonder what it would be like if Johnny Depp had been the leading man (or a large role at least) in every movie Tim Burton made.

                Imagine Johnny Depp as Beetlejuice.  Imagine Johnny Depp as Batman.   Better yet, imagine Johnny Depp as The Joker.   Though given the Frankenweenie remake, I wouldn’t put it past Burton to remake Beetlejuice with Depp in it just for fun.

                All you really need to know about this movie is that Michelle Pfieffer asked Tim Burton for a role in it, which she rarely does, and thus it must be something worth seeing.   I did enjoy it a lot and since now I will be watching the entire series that came before this, it has definitely done that job perfectly as well.  

G.I. Joe Retaliation [Movie Review]

            While I wasn’t the biggest fan of G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, I am at least willing to admit that I appreciated it for what it was.   What the diehard fans (myself included) fail to realize when judging it so harshly was that it was a retelling in many ways and thus the characters were reborn.   I couldn’t imagine seeing Shipwreck dressed in his cartoon attire and I think a lot of people would’ve rolled their eyes at that.

            I had somewhat high hopes for G.I. Joe: Retaliation if only because I knew that The Rock and Bruce Willis are in it.  The movie did not let me down, even if it is just seemingly one big explosion after another.

            The first thing that I liked about this movie, that I feel set the pace for me, was when Snake Eyes talked,  Okay, so Snake Eyes didn’t actually talk so much as it was really Storm Shadow in Snake Eyes’ outfit, but still—it made me believe.   I had read online reports that the writers wanted Snake Eyes to talk in the first one, so my immediate reaction was one of, “Well, they finally went and did it”.  

            Yeah, they got me.   They probably pulled one over on a lot of the people who saw the movie and went through the same mindset as I did.   So bravo to them for that.

            Speaking of Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, this movie also focused on them quite a bit.  I don’t want to sound like a bummer on this movie, but does anyone else agree that the ninjas could have their own spinoff at this point?   It’d be a side franchise worth looking into, as Storm Shadow became even more of my hero during this movie.

            Lastly, I heard this was based around the G.I. Joe: Renegades animated series, which after watching this movie prompted me to watch that show.   Movies really can’t say they do that often enough, so that’s also a big win right there.