Going To The Chapel… Going To Get Buried

Title:  Wedding Slashers

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  This movie doesn’t star anyone you probably know and it was directed by Carlos Scott, who is no relation to Ridley and Tony.

Introduction:  This movie came from Walgreens for four dollars.  I mainly bought it because I thought the title was clever and had seen such generally bad reviews of it online.

Location:  They’re… going to the chapel and they’re… going to get buried…  This movie takes place primarily in a church, as the time is mostly the day of the wedding.  Though it could just be a VFW or something of equal value because, well, what makes an inside of a church, right?  (And they didn’t show a lot of the typical “inside of the church” things you’d think you’d see).

Plot:  This girl has some kind of curse put on her, which she eventually ends up explaining.  See, she was supposed to marry her cousin (or brother or something, does it matter?  Inbreeding is inbreeding, people!) and then she got out of it somehow and now every time she tries to get married her family kills everyone involved.   It’s kind of like a Disney movie and she’s just waiting for her handsome prince to come along and save her.   As far as stories go, I’ve heard a lot of the curse stories, but I don’t believe I’d heard this one before.   Definite points for a new spin on a classic idea.

Acting:  Nothing too bad, nothing too good.  It flowed and got me sucked in, but if I never see any of these people in a movie again…

Production:  It had good production value, actually.  Think of most any movie you’ve seen that involves a wedding scene and that’s what this is like.   One big, long, bloody wedding scene.

Sex/Nudity:  Nope.  Not really.   Just people getting killed.

Special Effects:  The single scene that is still my favorite in this movie is when she is being chased by (I think) her brother.  He pulls a knife from out of nowhere (I mean, he’s wearing overalls, and it’s one of those kitchen knives that the blade doesn’t retract so anywhere he had it on his person would’ve resulted in him stabbing himself), but the best part is he does so while chasing this girl in perhaps the single slowest chase scene ever.   While watching it I actually thought the chase scene was filmed in slow motion and it might have been.   Oh, it’s hilarious.

Overall Verdict:  You should see this movie.   I’m going to watch it again and again.   And laugh and laugh and laugh.