The Midnight Horror Collection: Road Trip To Hell
In this DVD set, purchased at Wal-Mart for a whole five dollars, we have a total of four movies, so I shall take them one by one (and in the order which I watched them).
Sheltered (directed by Josh Stoddard)– This movie was set around a group of college aged kids who were on their way to who cares and got caught in a tropical storm. They went into a bar, which wasn’t open, and that was their first mistake. They insisted the owner let them stay, and as the storm got worse, they decided to go stay at his house with him. First off, why do you go into a bar that looks closed? Secondly, why do you then follow the bartender to his house? I guess only a hurricane can make sense of this. Naturally when they go to his house people start dying and everyone blames the screw up brother instead of being able to see what’s right under their noses. The acting in this movie wasn’t completely terrible, but as far as plot goes, this is one of the worst because they immediately take the mystery out of it for you, yet leave the entire cast guessing. You just want all of these characters to die, the faster the better. Other than on the road and in the bar, the only other location they really have is this house where the bulk of the movie takes place. No budget for location or big name actors needed, you think they could have invested some more money into making really cool looking death scenes, right? Wrong. Most of the death scenes are a downgrade from American Psycho. If you feel the need to watch this movie, I must warn you- you might fall asleep through it.
Feeding Grounds (A Film By Junior Bonner)– Many abandoned cars line this highway and they are all… abandoned. Yes, there is this part of the desert where people go to die. This movie actually starts with two women who end up going to this part of the desert. They are happy and in love and almost have a sex scene. One proposes marriage, the other accepts. Shortly thereafter, they are at each other’s throats and screaming for water. They throw up this stuff that looks like tapioca pudding and then disappear and apparently die. This sets the stage for a group of four guys who meet up with a group of four girls and are on their way to a cabin somewhere. But one of the relatives won’t give up the cabin until later, so they end up stopping in this part of the desert where people get angry, throw up and die. The locations in this movie consist of a street, a driving scene, a park or some such place with a swing set, and then of course the desert part of it. The actors aren’t bad, but it isn’t a wonder why none of them has done anything of note. So, naturally, they all start getting picked off, dying one by one. The worst part is that they throw up and then just kind of fade away, off screen. No cool special effects with the death scenes here. And wait- what’s this- some drama? During the movie, it’s revealed that the four guys used to be in a band together. One guy, who was the drummer, is really mad at another guy who ruined it for them by doing what the label told him to do. Does this make any sense to anyone? Did this need to be a part of this movie? Or was this just thrown in here so they could put in an extra ten minutes worth of dialogue? Either way, it never gets resolved. Like that groundhog, it just sort of comes up and then goes away. Pointless and unexplained. But not to worry, you’ll at least see this radio rock poseurs die gruesome deaths. Oh wait, right… The monster in this movie consists of vomiting and fading into the distance. Funny how John Wayne never died when he did that at the end of all of his movies.
Hell’s Highway (written and directed by Jeff Leroy) – This movie takes place along one stretch of road, which is dubbed Hell’s Highway. There is a scene where our main four characters camp out for the night (which includes a much unnecessary sex scene) and then a lab at the end, but otherwise, it looks like they just shot this on a road somewhere. Our four main kids pick up a hitchhiker, complete with the driver saying the line “A lot of pornos start out this way”, after someone warns him a lot of horror movies start out this way. So they pick up this chick who is probably the devil and she tries to kill them all, blah blah blah, they run wild and try to drive around and avoid her while still running into her at every turn. In the middle of this exists a small piece where this devil lady is picked up by- and kills- a character played by Ron Jeremy. I guess that would explain the pointless sex scene, although he wasn’t in it, so who knows. So giving Ron Jeremy a paycheck (But it’s debatable as to whether or not he gets a real check, as he’s trying to make it as a real actor in this movie) and driving up and down a road is pretty much where this movie spends its money. The audio is horrible and the characters sound like they swallowed microphones. So there should be some good death scenes, right? Ah, but there is one! This devil lady- her name is Lucinda- actually gets run over… then backed up and run over again. Her head (and intestines) then get stuck underneath the car, so as they drive away (after getting out to check) they drag the corpse behind them in what can only be described as a comical fashion. So far, this one scene has made buying this entire four pack of movies worthwhile. Did I also mention that you can clearly see the editing job where they substitute the real Lucinda for a dummy that gets run over? It’s so funny, yet like something out of Troma. In the end of this movie, one girl survives and is picked up by the government, who tells her that they’ve been doing clone testing and that’s why it appears as if this Lucinda wouldn’t die. But then, at the last minute, she comes back in Terminator style (complete with one eye blown up) and blows everyone away. The end. And this movie felt like a good hour and a half to hour and forty minutes, but it was just over an hour long. Oh well. That one part where she got run over is really all anyone needed to see in this movie.
The Craving (directed by Sean Dillon) – Basing a movie around a group of kids heading to Burning Man instantly makes me want them to die. There are five kids in a van, and the one guy drives while the other two couples get it on in the back for the beginning of this movie. I’ll never understand why horror movies include sex scenes unless if during said sex scene someone is going to die. The sex scene in a horror movie- if one even need exist- should be reserved for when the characters are at their most vulnerable peak. This makes it perfect for the monster (or in some cases, the lack thereof) to strike. Anyway, “the craving” apparently has something to do with feeding some monster, which is why in the beginning of the movie some guy stole another guy’s dog. I’m just kidding, I don’t know why he stole that dog and no one ever will because the Burning Man kids shot him. These kids then get stuck in this barn (and running around) for most of the movie trying to avoid said monster. This movie clocks in at the longest time of the four movies, about 105 minutes, but it really doesn’t have much more of a plot. The acting is still fairly terrible, and there isn’t a lot of money spent on location either. The only thing I can say about this movie is that they do manage to pull off some pretty good gore. That kind of makes it worthwhile, but this whole movie just makes me feel like I’ve seen it before.
Verdict: The winner in this four pack is Hell’s Highway, based on being hilarious. It’s the only movie of these four I’d consider watching again or recommend anyone else watch. Is it worth the five dollars paid for it? Definitely.
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