The Wrestling Figure Big Payoff in 3 Steps

When I first got into professional wrestling the action figures at the time were made by Hasbro.   They were small figures that could only move certain ways, but I would come to see them as a step up from the LJN figures which preceded them.   Though the LJN figures were larger, they also had no point of articulation so everything you wanted to act out about a match you literally had to move the figure to the proper position which was often times difficult (Think Gumby)

                Following Hasbro, WWE had their action figures made by Jakks Pacific for the rest of my collecting days.   Jakks initially started with Bone Crunching Action (BCA) figures, which were that soft rubbery feel of the LJN figures only scaled down in size (Though still larger than Hasbro) and given more mobility.   From there, Jakks went into the Titan Tron Live (TTL) series, which was a more modern take on action figures with moveable elbow and knee joints (on most of the figures), which lead way to the Ruthless Aggression (RA) style and eventually they would end on Deluxe Aggression (DA) which was just a more articulated version of the RA style.

                Throughout the days of collecting wrestling figures, the two biggest WWE wrestlers will probably always be Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage.   While they both had figures in the LJN (before my time) and Hasbro (during my time) days, neither would receive a Jakks BCA figure.  In fact, Hulk Hogan would have a TTL style figure, but those are often regarded as some of his worst because of the size of the arms and such.    When Jakks started a Classic Superstars line (In RA form, then eventually DA as well), Hulk Hogan was included to give him some great RA style figures, as well as a few DA figures.

                We fast forward to the present and Hulk Hogan is still getting DA figures made by Jakks, though now they are called Deluxe Impact (DI) and are under the TNA banner not the WWE banner.  While that happens outside of the WWE, in the world of the WWE, Macho Man Randy Savage has had his first action figures made under the WWE logo since the Hasbro days as he has had numerous Legends figures now as WWE has partnered with Mattel.   Granted, in the 1990’s Hulk Hogan and Macho Man both had figures made whilst in WCW, but let’s forget about that because, well, yeah, we’re talking WWE figures here.

                So my biggest wonder in all of this is why it’s taking so long to get Hogan and Savage on the same page.   We’ve gotten seemingly everyone else (Except for a few) since the Hasbro days.   If Jakks didn’t make someone in their Classics line, odds are we’re going to see them in the Mattel Legends line.  The only person we know for sure we won’t ever get is Owen Hart due to ongoing legal issues and the fact that his widow hates the company that ultimately killed him.

                But not only have we had names like Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Mr. Perfect, Rick Rude, Jake Roberts, Roddy Piper and Ultimate Warrior appear in the Jakks Classics line for the first time under the WWE banner since the Hasbro days, they have also all be remade in the Mattel Legends line as well.

                So the good news for collectors come in the fact that Macho Man figures have been produced and are currently in stores.   The bad news for collectors is that Hulk Hogan will not be made by Mattel so long as he is in TNA.  

                Now if you want to break it down to the WCW era wrestlers, like Sting and Ric Flair, well, Sting has never had a figure produced under the WWE banner, however he does have Jakks figures now which can go with the Jakks WWE figures in the RA and DA style.   Ric Flair has had a figure in pretty much every style WWE has had aside from BCA and now Mattel.    Is it too much to hope for a world where one day maybe Hogan, Savage and even Flair can come together and exist on the same figure platform?

                When I really started thinking about it, I saw it as some kind of grand conspiracy that has to do with pacing yourself.    Jakks always said they wanted to pace themselves with the Classics line, and Mattel has said the same thing.    So if you look at the last of the Jakks run as being the “Hogan era” of action figures, well then the current Mattel must be the “Savage era” of figures.   I don’t see why WWE and Mattel would end their partnership any time in the foreseeable future because the relationship just seems to benefit both parties so well.   But I’d like to hope that some time down the line Hulk Hogan will have a Mattel figure and even be in a two pack as both an ally and a rival to Macho Man.    This would be the third and final phase of giant wrestling figure collecting where all of the big names would finally come together.

                I also wonder if one day we won’t see an Owen Hart figure, hopefully under the guidance of Mattel.   Martha Hart is the one who stands in the way of that idea currently, but with no disrespect intended to her whatsoever, everyone dies eventually.   That might be the last little highlight after The Mega Powers finally unite in action figure form.

                And while I thought the idea of Hulk Hogan leaving TNA and being able to be made by Mattel was crazy once, I honestly don’t see anyone other than Hogan who would be so fitting to induct Savage into the WWE Hall of Fame.   On top of which, Mick Foley has left TNA and is headed back to WWE and presumably into Mattel action figure form as well.  Will the same happen with Ric Flair down the line?  Only time will tell.    But if we can get Hogan, Flair and even eventually Owen Hart made by Mattel, I think a lot of collectors will be left very satisfied. 

My My, Hey Hey, Power Rangers are Here to Stay

Title:  Saban’s Power Rangers Lost Galaxy: The Return of the Magna Defender

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  Nope, same as the first.

Introduction:  I got this at Good Will for less than a dollar on VHS.

Location:  More or less where the other one was.

Plot:  This picks up where the other Lost Galaxy story left off except it jumps right into it.   When I pressed play, I literally thought I’d walked in on the middle of a movie.   Then everyone is all like, “It’s the return of the Magna Defender!” like this is some sort of sequel or something.   But it’s not.  He was just stuck in a hole for the past three thousand years.  The only thing is that he happens to fight a lot like Leo’s brother, and well, a lot of speculation comes in as to whether or not it is his brother.   This reminds me a lot of a certain plotline in Speed Racer, but, you know, what can you do?

Did I happen to mention that the most awesome part of this whole thing is that the Magna Defender had a kid?   Now, Magna Defender is basically like a jacked up Power Ranger only with horns.   His son looked like a smaller version of him.  As if the whole horns-on-mask thing didn’t remind me of lucha libre enough, now we have a mini-Juvi.    It’s just so funny you can’t not laugh at it, but at the same time, MD is telling you the story of how his son was taken away from him.   It’s like, you want to feel badly for him and all, but the kid just looks so funny you can’t pay attention to the dialogue or anything else really.

Acting:  You know, more of the same over the top lines like “I work alone” and “That’s none of your concern”.

Production:  Again, looks like it was for television.

Sex/Nudity:  No, thank goodness.  That Magna Defender was one love scene away from being the most disturbing Power Ranger ever.

Special Effects:  they’re actually pretty cool considering the Magna Defender is in here with The Lights and all.

Overall Verdict:  So, after Magna Defender realizes that he can’t use The Lights as his way of revenge (Because they only work for good, not for evil), he decides to tell Leo that he is indeed not his brother, but his brother is very much alive.   Basically, MD was living in the hole that Leo’s brother got sucked into and then MD took Leo’s brother’s power so he could get out of the hole.  But if Leo kills MD, then his brother will return.  Leo refuses to kill, so MD sacrifices himself somehow and Leo’s brother, Mr. Goodhair, returns and hairstyling costs go up ten times.   It should be noted, though, that no one actually addresses the question of what they will now do with two Red Rangers, which some may argue is two too many.   But this movie has a great fight scene in it that takes place in a city, much like what you think of when you think of Godzilla fighting, so I’m going to go ahead and recommend that you watch it.

Hey Hey, My My, Power Rangers Can Never Die

Title:  Saban’s Power Rangers Lost Galaxy

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  It’s the Power Rangers, duh, and they’re in a lost galaxy.   There aren’t really any known actors in this, but that doesn’t make it any less fun now does it?

Introduction:  This was purchased as a VHS tape from Good Will for less than a dollar.  You’ll need to get used to me typing that.

Location:  In a lost galaxy, duh.   Haha, but no, really, this movie starts on what I presume is Earth (or some other planet about to be destroyed) and then moves onto other planets, lots of spaceships and cracks in the ground.

Plot:  This is the origins story for this particular group of Power Rangers who are in the “Lost Galaxy”.    This movie starts with a sort of lottery where people must receive passports to board ships that are going to take them away from a doomed planet.   One kid is mad he doesn’t have a passport, so he kicks a building.   Then he manages to fight off three hoodlums and save an old woman’s passport from being stolen.   In a genuinely funny moment in this movie, you expect her to say what a good person he is and how he deserves to go to this new planet more than her, but no, she might throw him some compliments but she never hands over her passport.  I guess that’d be too easy.    This kid then becomes a stowaway, which I guess is slightly less immoral than stealing from the elderly.   Then we have this whole Logan’s Run-esque chase scene where they’re trying to track down this stowaway… who somehow manages to end up in their version of the space army.   For the next few scenes, this movie pays homage to Starship Troopers and the stowaway is revealed to be the future Red Ranger’s brother.  Dun dun dun.    So the Pink Ranger is a scientist on the ship or something- some plain looking blonde girl with glasses- and the Blue Ranger is an Asian guy who seems to be the hardass of the group but really isn’t defined otherwise.    The Green Ranger actually is a janitor or something.   Then the Yellow Ranger is some cave-like girl who comes from some other planet and the other four (Well, five with the brother) must help to save them.    So there are these swords no one can pull out of this giant stone and the people I just told you about manage to get them out so they can become the Power Rangers.   It’s totally Sword in the Stone, as if I needed to tell you.   But then during a fight, the Red Ranger goes down a hole and as he’s holding on, rather than try to be rescued and pulled up to his safety, he makes his younger brother, Leo, take his sword.   So, wait, they can save the sword but not the human?  Makes sense to me.   So now Leo becomes the Red Ranger and must fill his brother’s footsteps.   Blah blah blah, fast forward to some bad guys, a kaiju fight and then they win and save the day setting the standard for the new group of Power Rangers.

Acting:  As usual, it’s over the top bad, but we’re not here for the acting.  We’re here for the fight scenes and choreographed backflips.

Production:  This looks like it was made for television and it probably was.

Sex/Nudity:  No, but the outfits have the Charlie Brown stripe which is HILARIOUS.

Special Effects:  They are what you’d expect:  Lasers and guys in costumes standing in front of small scenery pretending to be giants.   It’s Ultraman for the U.S.

Overall Verdict:  As a kid I loved the Power Rangers.   As an adult, I find them to be unintentionally hilarious with action scenes that are what make me love kaiju.     It’s just too awesomely cheesy for words.

I Will Run (I Can No Longer Walk)

Date: Tue, 4 Oct 2011 10:57:45 -0500
Subject: Out of the Darkness Community Walk
From: afsp.houston@gmail.com
To:

Our walk committee is working on a project that will be on display the day of the walk. We see that you have registered as an "individual" walker and are not associated with any walk teams.  Please reply to this email and let us know the name of the person you are walking in memory of.

--
Thank you,

Gina Rodriguez and Beverly Garza,
Houston Walk Chairs
www.myspace.com/afsp_houston
www.facebook.com/afsp.houston

Out of the Darkness Community Walks
http://www.outofthedarkness.org/

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
http://www.afsp.org/

When I first received this email from ASFP Houston I was both a little bit shocked and offended.   Last year, I participated in the ASFP Out of the Darkness Walk, something I firmly believed in and still do.  My only real problem last year was that I felt awkward and rather out of place amongst the sea of signs and blue balloons with the pictures and names of people on them who were no longer a part of this world.    My feelings basically were as such because of the term “survivor”, which when talking about mental health and suicide can mean two different things.    It seemed as if most of the activities for the day were geared around the survivors who had lost someone.   Whether or not this was completely true, as someone who was the other kind of survivor I did feel very out of place.

                To me, mental illness is a disease.   That is the best way that I can describe it, and really one of the only ways that it should be described.   This disease is treatable, yes, but you have to choose to seek treatment for it.   That can be an overwhelmingly hard thing to do in a world which has the beliefs that no such thing exists and people are just sad or lazy and need to get over it.   Taking medications for mental illness also comes with a lot more of a stigma than, say, being treated for cancer.   No one will ever say to you: “Why do you need chemo?  Is your body really that weak that you let it get cancer?  Man, you’re a loser”.    Yet, for people to have that mentality when mental illness is concerned is something that we still need to overcome as a society.

                Using cancer as an example, which in a lot of ways is what I liken mental illness to so people without it can understand it, if I was participating in a walk to promote cancer awareness, do you think that email would have been appropriate?   Basically, the email would be implying that even though you beat cancer, who cares, you’re not a surviving family member of someone who has died from it so we have nothing for you.     This again goes back to the stigmas and stereotypes society has when it comes to mental illness.   I’m not saying that someone with mental illness is the same as someone with cancer.  You can get cancer a number of different ways, but there are people who just develop it in their systems and have no real explanation as to why.   This is what mental illness is like—something in your body that you were born with and there’s no exact reason behind it.   Sure, it could be hereditary, but when you trace it back to its roots you’ll find no reason for it originating.    It could also be seen as something you’re missing that other people have, but that’s really one of those glass half empty/half full things.

                I ultimately feel like there is too much work to be done and too many people who are ignorant to mental health issues for there to be an “us” and a “them” within this community.    Yes, there are those who understand it (Whether they have been affected by it in some way or not) and there are those who don’t, but we shouldn’t be drawing lines between those of us who actually do get it.   To go so far out on a limb and past the term “survivor”, what about those who just happen to be opposed to suicide and mental illness?   You don’t have to have personally known anyone or been affected by, say, cancer, AIDS or whatever else to walk for it and know that it’s bad and a serious threat to our world.    People can wear pink to promote breast cancer awareness with only the mindset of “I like boobies”.  But if you’re going to distance one side of the people who understand mental illness- the survivors who have attempted suicide and been to that dark place only to be saved and seek help- then what does that say to those people who have never tried it nor known anyone who died from it?    This is mainly just seeming a lot like a place for people to get together and grieve, which is fine, but no one should feel isolated or left out (Especially when we’re talking about mental health issues like depression and social anxiety) and I just don’t feel like this email or the lack of response to it when I inquired makes anything feel warm or accepting.   You say you want to educate people and promote awareness, well, that’s hard to do when you’re seemingly excluding people.    Maybe over the next year or so you can find a way to remedy that and I’ll walk again, but this year I will no longer be walking or raising money for a cause I no longer fully agree with.

X-Men Don’t Fly Coach

Title:  X-Men: First Class

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  No, not really.   It’s just another chapter in the seemingly endless movies made about these mutants.

Introduction:  I got this from the library for free, ‘cause, yeah.

Location:  It goes all over, so, you know, they had a budget.

Plot:  This movie starts with a young Magneto being power-raped by Kevin Bacon and, well, from there it’s kind of downhill.   Magneto and Charles Xavier are friends, but this movie chronicles their falling apart and choosing the good versus evil sides.  It is an origins story, and yes, very easily could have been called “X-Men Origins: Magneto”, but you know, “First Class” is better than coach and apparently this movie is on a plane.  My biggest complaint with this plot is that, while predictable (I mean, who really thought they’d stay friends in the end?), I really wished it was more like the X-Men Evolution animated series.   This just kind of bored me.   Kevin Bacon’s character paved the way for Magneto going evil, while they recruited fellow mutants such as Beast, Emma Frost, Mystique, Havok and Banshee.   The funny thing is that there was one mutant they brought in called Darwin, who I’m pretty sure was made up for the movie, so of course he dies.    But yeah, if this movie was made first it would have been acceptable, but putting it out after four other X-Men related movies just makes it seem like overkill.

Acting:   I could just not be in touch with mainstream film, but the only actor I really recognized in this was Kevin Bacon.   Of course, that is to say aside from James McAvoy, who I had a HUGE problem with playing Charles Xavier.   Forget the fact that I best know McAvoy as being in that other comic book movie, Wanted, and forget that I don’t really like him as an actor in general, but they could have just found someone that fit this role better.  I had no real problems with any of the other actors, just James McAvoy.   Nothing was right about this guy being in this movie.

Production:   Yes, it was a mega-budget film.

Sex/Nudity:  No, not so much.

Special Effects:  They were what you’d expect.

Overall Verdict:  While I really liked the first two X-Men movies, I felt like Last Stand lacked a certain something in depth, where it just felt forced, like, “Let’s wrap this thing up so we can do something else with these characters”.    Then Wolverine’s solo movie was just its own thing.   But this is definitely, of all now five X-Men related films, my least favorite.  Why?  Mostly because I feel like it was pointless.   I also feel like it’s not going anywhere, like we won’t see a lot of these same characters reprise these roles again (Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing).   I wonder why when we have characters like Gambit, Cable, Bishop, Stryfe and countless others out there that have never had a movie before… Why not put them in their own movie?   Or have a couple of them together at least.   But, I mean, the X-Men in general just seem so burnt out.   The only thing I’d really like to see related to the X-Men is a Storm origins movie done right.  Otherwise, everything else in this little world here needs to be left alone for a good couple of years (Maybe even three to five).

Thor Rhymes With Bore

Title:  Thor

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  Natalie “I Ruined Star Wars” Portman and Kat “I’m Not Emma Stone” Dennings are in this with some guy as Thor, which was probably the right casting choice.

Introduction:  I got this from the library for free.   You shouldn’t pay more for it.

Location:  All over planet Earth and Asgard. 

Plot:  Thor comes to Earth, befriends humans and has to find himself before he can swing his mighty hammer.   You know, throughout the various comic books and animated series out there, I feel like we’ve seen this story told far too many times already.   This does not make me look forward to learning what I already know about Captain America.

Acting:  The acting is good.  I have no complaints.

Production:  Yes, it had a big budget.

Sex/Nudity:  No, not so much.   But the dude playing Thor looks like Kurt Cobain on steroids.

Special Effects:  Yes, they were what you’d expect.

Overall Verdict:   As I’ve recently been watching older movies in the “fantasy” era, while the special effects might not have been as good, I really would have loved to either see this made around the same time as Dragonheart and movies of that time frame, or at least have this one look more like a tribute to that time when movies were being made.   But, no, this is pretty much cut and dry for what you’d expect for a movie about Thor made by Marvel.   It seems like a necessary evil since all these movies will eventually link together to form the Avengers movie next year, but skipping a Thor origin story wouldn’t have killed that movie.  Black Widow and Hawkeye are both going to be in the Avengers movie without an origins story, so who knows.    But I’d go see a Hawkeye movie just to make fun of it because boy do I hate Hawkeye.   What a useless character that guy is.   But to end this review on a good note, I did like the overall character of Loki.   He actually has a much better role in this movie than Thor himself because he’s just this out of control-insane type character that seems so hard to stop (and even shows he can’t be stopped after the credits).    This movie should be renamed “Loki” because it made me a fan of that bad guy more than it helped me feel any differently about Thor, a character I already like.

This Movie is the Troll

Title:  Troll Hunter

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  It’s from Magnet, so I thought it was worth a look.

Introduction:  From the library for FREE.

Location:  Mostly in the woods, like the Blair Witch Project.

Plot:  This movie starts with some people hunting bears, but eventually we end up following this one guy whose hunting trolls instead.   It’s shot documentary style and even has a disclaimer at the beginning like “This is the footage that was recovered”.   No one believes this is real, much less really cares about it.

Acting:   It was dubbed, so you know.

Production:  It was shot like a documentary, which is just a cheap way of saying they don’t have to spend a lot on production value.

Sex/Nudity:  No, I don’t think so, but I kind of tuned in and out during the slow parts.

Special Effects:  The only redeeming quality of this movie is that the trolls themselves look kind of cool.  Otherwise, this movie’s got nothing.

Overall Verdict:  I think that as a film-watching community, we should come together and form a set of guidelines and unspoken rules for the film-making community.   After I watched The Last Exorcism, which I enjoyed, I voted that we no longer make movies about exorcisms.   (Funny, that movie was also shot like a documentary)   Now after seeing Zombie Diaries, of course The Blair Witch and so many others, I think we all need to come together and say that we no longer wish to see documentary style movies (That aren’t real) so the film-makers should stop making them as such.   It’s a cheap way to get out of having to shoot a visually appealing movie (“It’s supposed to look grainy” is no longer cutting it)  This movie is also a lot of running through the woods with a shaky camera and green light.   This movie is basically the modern version of the Blair Witch Project, which is just sad.   After Hobo With a Shotgun and Rubber, has Magnet lost their touch?

A New Game Show Revolution

                Recently I thought about what it actually means to be smart, in the literal sense of what knowledge you know and, perhaps more importantly, what knowledge you truly need to know.

                In a world full of game shows and other events based around petty trivia (Jeopardy!) and sometimes meaningful trivia (Rock ‘n’ Roll Jeopardy!), I wondered how much of this really mattered in the real world.   In all honesty, 99.9% of life’s questions (if not a straight 100%) can be answered by simply typing your question into a search box on a website such as Google. 

                With that being the case, I thought up something along the lines that the truly knowledgeable people are those who knows things which you cannot find by asking Jeeves.   I think the real test as to what we truly know or don’t know can be determined by how we react in a situation where we need help but simply do not have an iPhone at our fingertips to figure out the answer.  

                This lead me to two good ideas for television game shows- though I honestly think that they should be merged into one to make it even better.

                For the first half of the show, the contestants would be asked a series of trivial questions.   The answers would basically be based around the fact of who could type the fastest (and most accurately) to pull up the results on a webpage.    But the thing is, this round would have to be like math class—you’d have to show your work.   So, for example, the winning answer could be by Bob who typed in “How do you change a tire eHow” to Google and came up with the correct result.   If you simply know the answer, you can’t just blurt it out.  It has to be a form of search mission in that way, as well.

                The second half of the show is where it gets good.   Do you know how long a person can go without drinking water?   Sure you don’t, nor do you care because if it really pertains to you, you can always Google it.   But what if you weren’t able to use Google?  What if you were in an undisclosed location and forced to answer questions based on your own wits alone?  Do you have the survival instincts to do it?   What if the challenge was that you must decide- with no help from anyone or anything else- how long you could live without water and whatever your answer was would determine whether you lived or died.   If you said that the human body can stay alive for a week without dehydrating, guess what?   You just died.   Worse than that, you died by your own ignorance.  

                The point of all of this, really, is that there have always been two types of smarts—book smarts and street smarts.   You’d throw people who were only book smart out onto the street and watch them grasp at straws for answers while they get carjacked, mugged, raped and left for dead.  Yes, I fully agree that people need book smarts to a certain extent.  No one should have to using their calculator on their phone (or Google) to find out how much two tacos will cost if they’re $0.69 each.   (Though I bet some people can’t do that in their head, so maybe I should’ve went with a 2 + 2 equation instead)  But at the same time, we rely on the internet as a resource far too much in this day and age.    While it doesn’t really matter whether or not you can pull the name of the 14^th President off the top of your head or you have to Google search it, I think there needs to be a certain amount of basic survival instincts still kicked into people.  One day, if we have some kind of apocalyptic type catastrophe and we’re all left without the internet we’ll see who lives and who dies.  

This Blog is About You (But You're Still Vain)

So I got this anonymous comment on my blog- in all caps- and like a good Blogger (The company, not a reference to me) they blocked it and marked it as spam instead of letting it actually show up.   But after some consideration, I find this to be humerous at first glance, but overall just a sad reminder of what a terrible state we are in as the human race.   How can someone who hardly knows someone else (if even at all) judge them so harshly?   Well, read on because it actually gets a little bit racist and, well, that's how blind hatred works, right?

By the way, I don't like taking the time to do this, but considered I'd leave it up as a warning to others trying to be as "smart" as this person.   If you leave me an anonymous comment in all caps- whether it is the same person again or not- 1: Blogger will mark it as spam and it won't show up and 2: I will not do another one of these rants reducing myself to your level.  Even though I'm still slightly better because my points are valid and yours are pulled out of thin air.

Enjoy.  I am the one not in all caps, if that needed to be restated.

YOU ARE A PERSON WHO NEEDS A JOB AND GET A REAL HOBBY....

For an opening statement, does this make sense to anyone else?  I need a job, yes, but I also need a “real” hobby?   This person didn’t even specify what my hobby that isn’t “real” is for me to get a real one.   I have plenty of hobbies, so which one are they saying are fake?

IF YOU ARE WAITING FOR YOUR "DREAM JOB" THEN GET OFF OF YOUR LAZY ASS AND HIT THE PAVEMENT. JOBS JUST DON'T COME TO YOU, YOU GO TO THEM.

Not true, I once knew a guy who got a job because it ACTUALLY did come to him.   True story.

SITTING AT HOME ON THE COUCH 24/7 AND 365/SOMETIMES 366 DAYS A YEAR BLOGGING AND FACEBOOKING DOESN'T CONSTITUTE SOMEONE FINDING THEIR DREAM JOB.

What I find funniest about this statement is not the fact that anyone who knows me knows that I don’t in fact sit on my couch all the time, but the simple fact that I do not have the internet at home.  So your idea of me blogging and Facebooking from my couch comes unfounded as I can do no such thing from my couch and must go somewhere (usually the library) to do so.   I’m not even going to begin to mention the mere logistics of this I thought of when reading it, such as simple things like going to the bathroom or even sleeping in my own bed.

IF YOUR DREAM JOB CONSISTED OF YOU BLOGGING AND FACEBOOKING ALL DAY, WELL THEN YOU WOULD DEFINITELY TAKE THE CAKE AND BE CONSIDERED EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR;

Thanks…  I think?   Am I the only one who sees that as kind of a compliment?  I mean, I do like cake.

BUT OF COURSE YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID, YOU ARE SITTING AT HOME, PRETENDING TO BE A GOOD, DECENT HUMAN BEING BUT IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT YOU ARE NOT.

While I’m not bothered by this person’s claims on my character, I do find it funny that they chose to say it was “well known” that I’m not.   Where is it well known?  Who knows it?  I don’t know that many people, and those that actually interact with me somehow don’t really know me that well anyway.  Obviously this person doesn’t know me at all, but the funny thing is, on what authority do they have it that I’m known all around town as a bad dude pretending to be good?   Look, I never say I am or claim to be anything.  I let people form their own judgments of me.   But the thing is, people don’t really see my true nature (nor do I brag about what I actually do), so sometimes it goes left unnoticed and I’m fine with that.  Again, I must go back to the earlier statement as well (Since it’s repeated here) about my sitting home all day.   Who are all these people and why do they know I’m such a horrible human being if all I’m doing is sitting on my couch all day?  Contradicting yourself is the first step toward being wrong, anonymous ranter.

IF YOU WERE, YOU WOULD GET A JOB - NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF JOB AND START BRINGING IN THE MONEY TO SUPPORT YOUR WIFE AND THOSE CATS AND SOON TO BE CHILD.

Ah yes, because only good people have jobs.  You know what?  Rather than argue about how high the unemployment rate is or suggest that at one point in your life you were probably also unemployed, let me offer up this simple question for you.   By your logic, clearly everyone who doesn’t have a job is bad.  Then does that mean that everyone who has a job is good?  Because I think I could name some bad dudes with jobs.

TO GET YOUR DREAM JOB AT NINTENDO AND THAT JOB CONSISTED OF YOU HAVING MERCHANDISING EXPERIENCE....

Actually, I used that as an example of what my dream job *might* be, since I couldn’t think of anything at the time along the lines of what I’d like to be paid to do because right now I’d like to be paid to do just about anything.  But obviously you didn’t read my other blog and fully understand, so, sorry, I can’t dumb it down for you.   But just for the record, Nintendo is not my dream job.   You probably just skimmed what I wrote any way.

WELL LET ME TELL YOU A SECRET SIR...THERE ARE THESE BIG BUILDINGS THAT WILL HELP YOU GET A JOB, THEY ARE CALLED SCHOOLS..YES IT IS A NEW CONCEPT...GOING TO COLLEGE, GETTING AN EDUCATION OR PERHAPS START AT HEB STORES AND GET MERCHANDISING EXPERIENCE OR PERHAPS GO TO GAMESTOP AND START FROM THERE. SEE IT IS ALL ABOUT THAT.

Further proof this person knows nothing about me: I have a degree.  Yes, not only am I aware that one can go to school after high school I actually did attend school then as well.   I probably have a higher level of education than you, considering that all you’re doing point by point is proving how little you actually know about me and, well, making your case look all the weaker.  Rule number one, dude, know your enemy.  It’s kind of funny to see you try and insult me when you obviously know nothing about me.

And just to clarify, the Nintendo job was something I stumbled upon over five years ago and though it was only meant as an example, going to work as a merchandiser somewhere else wouldn’t help me now unless you can somehow provide me with time travel.   By the by, even though I don’t post is freely, it should be noted here as well that I actually do have merchandising experience now.

WHAT A WONDERFUL THOUGHT IF A JOB PROFILE HAS A SKILL THAT YOU ARE NOT THAT FAMILIAR WITH, COMMON SENSE WOULD TELL YOU TO EITHER FIND AN ENTRY LEVEL JOB TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE THAT DREAM JOB AND HERE IS ANOTHER PART, GO TO SCHOOL.

More of the same, but really, is your caps lock stuck or are you just that annoying?

 A REAL MAN WOULD NOT BE ASHAMED OF HIS JOB JUST AS LONG AS HE IS SUPPORTING HIS FAMILY AND PAYING HIS TAXES - LIKE ANY RESPECTABLE AMERICAN.

I agree.  And had I a job, I would not be ashamed of it if it could provide me with money to put food on the table, as the old cliché goes.  I think you’re arguing just for the sake of arguing now.

THE SAD THING IS THAT THERE ARE MORE ILLEGALS WORKING HARDER THAN YOU - AND THAT IS YOU JOSHUA - A PERSON WHO WAS BORN IN THE USA WHO REFUSES TO GET A JOB.

Number one:  Yes, like Bruce Springsteen, I was born in the U.S.A.   However, these talks of “illegals” makes me wonder who exactly is writing this and why I should care since you’re obviously some sort of racist.   I see people as people.   Show me the test you passed to live here, and assuming you’re not Native American, then anyone has as much right to be here as you do.   So, sit down, shut up and leave the racism to… well, not my blog.

Number two: I like how you say I refuse to get a job.   You know, it’s funny.  I’ve been offered many high paying positions and entry level jobs over the last year or so and you know, I turned them all down because I just refuse to get a job.   Snicker snicker.  End sarcasm.

IF BEING A LAZY WAS A JOB, WELL THEN BY GOLLY YOU GOT IT SIR!

On one hand, you’re calling me lazy, which is an insult.  On the other, you end it with “sir”, which makes me think that you have some sort of respect for me.   Well, you know, I’d be offended and try to refute your claims of my being not only lazy but the laziest of the lazies, as you sort of put it, but again, you obviously know nothing about me and think I’m somehow super-glued to my sofa, so yeah, your opinion is of little consequence to me.

BTW - THIS REPLY ISN'T FROM SOMEONE WHO IS DIRECTLY KNOWN TO YOU...THIS IS FROM SOMEONE WHO YOU WOULD LEAST SUSPECT....................................... SOMETIMES IT IS THE QUIET ONES YOU NEED TO WATCH OUT FOR

So… you’re not directly known to me, yet you’re also someone I’d be least likely to expect?   Funny, because if you’re not directly known to me (As in, if we are not friends, but say, instead you happened to just read this because you were linked here by someone on Facebook who has nothing better to do than concern themselves with the business of others because they’re too emotionally retarded to have their own life rather than meddling in other peoples business), so why would I suspect you if I don’t even know you?   It’s like, I’m waiting for this reveal at the end, like, “Aha!  It was me!  Bob Tewksberry all along!”  And I’m scratching my forehead like, “Who the $%^& is Bob Tewksberry??”  But the even better question is, why should I care? 

So here I am, this huge lazy person who doesn’t leave the couch, is less significant than one of those goshdarn illegal immigrants and would rather be a horrible person than get a job.   And here you are, someone who doesn’t know me, read one thing I wrote (Again, probably skimmed it) and suddenly took it upon themselves to form all of these opinions about me.  Oh, and not only form these opinions about me, but take the time to post them as an anonymous coward on my blog, in all caps none the less.  Who’s the real loser I ask you—your so-called loser in me, or the person who has nothing better to do than try (and fail miserably) to degrade a complete stranger?

First Shopping List

Shopping List #1

<Item #1> “lemons”  (on the far right of the page is written “cherry tomatoes”)

<Item #2> “milk 0%, 1%”

<Item #3> “cantalope”

<Item #4> “”oniondip”

<Item #5> “cherry tomatoes”

<Item #6> “macaroni”

<Item #7> “oniondip”

<Item #8> “salmon”

<Item #9> “nutella”

<Item #10> “oniondip”

<Item #11> “hash browns patties?”

<Item #12> “butter/marg”

<Item #13> “9x13 pan [?]”

<Item #14> “Hawaiian rolls – 1 pkg”

<Item #15> “carrots”

<Item #16> “Ital dress”

<Item #17> “froz peaches”

<Item #18> “wrinkle cream”

                The interesting thing about this is that “cherry tomatoes” is seemingly added to the top at the last minute, though it is also the fifth item on the list.  At the same time, “oniondip” shows up twice and just two items apart as well, this is a strange oversight.    The addition of “wrinkle cream” at the very bottom makes you wonder if it was added that far down only because it was not something that is food.  

                The first item- “lemons”- is in black, while the next six items are all in pink and then it switches back to black.   This can only lead you to assume that the list was actually started with “milk” and then “lemons” were later added to the top after “carrots”.   Although since items 16 and 17 are written in orange, this list was probably made over the course of a week or so.

                The first obvious food connection here would be the lemons going with the salmon.  Most of the other items are veggies that would fit with the onion dip and Italian dressing.   The one item that throws this list off is the hash browns because that’s a breakfast item (and a side) with no real matching component.    

                The big giveaway in this list is that there are not one but two types of milk being purchased.   This would lead you to conclude that this list is for more than just one person, though the milk could be used for cooking and coffee, though nothing coffee related is on this list.   Obviously, this list is not a full shopping list but just something thrown together to piece together other meals throughout the course of the week.   That fact alone makes you wonder why it seemed to have so many revisions and additions as opposed to being done in one take. 

                I will conclude that this is the list of a middle aged business woman who is too busy to do actual grocery shopping and just picks up what she needs here and there.   The milk might be for coffee, something she may have a lot of on hand if she entertains guests.   My original idea of this being for more than one person (based on the milk) is now ruled out, as I don’t believe this person has children.  The fact that gives that away to me is the wrinkle cream, something a more prominent business woman would need because she’s under the impression that her looks are what help her succeed.    It would be assumed that a mother wouldn’t be as worried about the wrinkles and almost sort of wear them proudly as battle scars of motherhood.