He’s Not Bigfoot, He Just Needs a Shave

Title:  Clawed

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  No idea.

Introduction:  Purchased on eBay for an undisclosed sum.

Location:  Primarily in the woods and a classroom.   Kind of like Blair Witch meets Saved by the Bell.

Plot:  There are four kids, two guys and two girls, and one of the guys believes in bigfoot.   There have recently been some murders in the woods that people are passing off as being done by a bear, but the kid doesn’t buy it, so for his class project he goes to try and get video and whatever proof he can that sasquatch exists.    No, I am not making this up.   He brings along his unwilling “cool/jock/bully” type friend who mostly just offers up insults that would make a grade school student wince.   They’re the original odd couple, and yet for some reason the bully guy’s cousin likes the dorky guy so they end up in this sort of “date” situation in the woods before everyone starts being eaten by bigfoot.   It’s a plot that is somewhat old but would have been nicely done had everyone died in the end.

Acting:   It’s unbelievably awful.

Production:   It looks okay, though bigfoot himself looks like a rejected Harry and the Hendersons costume.

Sex/Nudity:    Not so much, but the bully guy tries to video tape his cousin when she starts making out with the dorky kid.   Even she thinks it’s weird and has to remind him that she is his cousin.   How did that guy not die, I shall never know.

Special Effects:  Barely there.

Overall Verdict:  I like a good bigfoot movie as much as the next person and this one isn’t half bad.   Well, okay, half of it is bad, but for the most part it’s fun to watch if only to make fun of how stupid the characters are and hope that they will be eaten by bigfoot or someone…. Alas, a wish that never comes true.