Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Lesbians Can’t Save You Now

Title:  Evil Remains
Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  Ashley Scott is really all that you need to know  about this movie.
Introduction:   Purchased on eBay for an undisclosed sum.
Location:  In and around an abandoned old house that is said to be haunted.   You know how it goes.   Plus side:  It’s in New Orleans.
Plot:   A group of guys and girls, who all happen to be roommates, venture to a house that is supposedly haunted by a boy who murdered his parents there.   The legend goes that the boy was so tortured and abused by his dad, that he murdered his parents but his body never was found.   He still lives within the house (evil remains) and kills anyone who tries to steal his curtains.   I have no idea how original this plot is, mainly because the idea of a legend of a haunted house (or cursed or whatever you want to call it) seems to have been overdone.    Minor Spoiler:  (You’re not going to watch this movie anyway)  At the end they reveal some plot twist where it isn’t the boy who is evil but some girl and blah blah blah, even with a plot twist this story is old and tired.
Acting:  Ashley Scott is in here, but otherwise I have no idea who these college aged kids are and probably for good reason.
Production:  The sequel to this movie would be called “Evil Still Remains”… Eh, who am I kidding?  This movie isn’t getting a sequel.
Sex/Nudity:   Not so much, which is surprising for this type of movie.
Special Effects:  They are almost non-existent.
Overall Verdict:  If you’re a fan of movies, you probably won’t enjoy this.   There are literally hundreds of other movies out there about haunted houses, and that doesn’t even begin to touch on the books, comic books, etc. that are also on the same subject.     The only thing I really cared about in this movie was Ashley Scott and unless you’re a HUGE fan of hers (I am not), I would skip this movie at all costs.   I pretty much immediately regretted watching it as soon as it started and the kids were playing cards and drinking.   I thought, “I’ve seen too many of these movies and this one doesn’t seem to promise anything new or different”.    I was right and I should have shut it off right then.    Don’t make the same mistake that I did.   This movie isn’t so bad that it’s funny, it’s just bad.

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