Title: The Reeds
Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away: No, not really. Aside from being a part of the 8 Films to Die For, you probably have never heard of this movie before.
Introduction: I got this movie on clearance for $2. No joke.
Location: It starts in a small city type environment, then moves into a boat and ultimately winds up, well, in the reeds. So they must have had some budget.
Plot: This movie pretty much has elements from other movies in it, as well just being a cliché horror movie in general. I can break it down for you in four simple parts, with no spoiler warnings because, well, you don’t really need to view this for yourself.
1) A group of college aged kids (ugh) decide to rent a boat to party on or whatever. When the guys try and get it, they find out that the boat that was meant for them was damaged by the previous renters. The guy basically tells them “No boat for you”, but they insist and eventually end up getting a boat for rent. This part of the plot is not only cliché, it bugs the crap out of me because it has “veering off the chosen road and onto the dirty path” written all over it. Most horror movies wouldn’t occur if people just stayed on the highway instead of taking the back roads because it’s this awesome shortcut this hillbilly told them about. This is pretty much like that. The guy who rents the boats says your boat is not available, so you go home and find something else to do. Pushing the issue will only result in, well, this awful movie.
2) While on the boat, they hit something which impales one of the passengers and causes them to stop (also leaving them open to being killed). This is basically like a scene out of Rogue or Hatchet, take your pick. We’ve all seen this one before.
3) As her friends slowly (and I mean SLOWLY because this movie drags) start dying off, the one girl realizes that the killer has been doing this for years and one of the first victims was her mom or some such nonsense. It’s probably intended to be this huge OMG moment, but in all honestly, it just falls flatter than a fart in church. Of course, at this point in the movie I was less interested in the plot and just wanted to see people brutally murdered. Le Sigh.
4) In the end, they jump back to a scene where the main character almost runs over a little girl who was once her mother. Wait, if her mom was killed as a little girl, how was this present tense girl even born? Ugh. And now, after sitting through an hour and a half of this crap, we’re supposed to just accept the fact that none of it ever happened and it was all a split second dream she had? Whatever, Mr. Director. I hope you get stuck on an endless flight somewhere and the only movie they show is Norbit.
Acting: There are two main characters who kind of remind me of Rose and Mickey from Dr. Who, but otherwise, you know… They talk with accents, so that covers up any poor acting skills they may possess.
Production: It looks like it could have been in theaters, and obviously it was for the 8F2D4 showcase, but still…
Sex/Nudity: Surprisingly, none. I was expecting some sort of sex scene to really “enhance” the plot because it seemed to be going nowhere rather slowly. Oh, but, the lack of nudity is not a reason to watch this movie or avoid it. Just try and fathom the plot and you’ll decide this movie is best left unwatched.
Special Effects: When the spike or whatever goes through the guy it doesn’t look that bad, but this movie also could have had (and would have been much better) with a whole lot more blood and gore.
Overall Verdict: While there are many movies you could watch instead of this movie and still get the overall feel for it, I still feel like this movie is just a wasted hour and a half. Only if you are an 8F2D4 completionist or whatever I am should you watch this movie.
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