As I find seemingly more and more that there are only greater misperceptions about the unemployed, I feel the need to write this not so much for those people who are unemployed or maybe have ever been, but rather for those out there who are employed and like to take it upon themselves to try and help those who are not. In a sentence: you’re doing more harm than good.
When you’re unemployed, everyone thinks they have the answer for finding you a job. In fact, this was a sentiment reflected by someone who I had never met before when I came to my boiling point. Here I was, at a public function, openly admitting to someone I had never previously met that I was unemployed. Now, of all the nerve, this guy says to me, “I know everyone wants to try and help you and think they can find you a job when you’re unemployed”, to which in my head I’m agreeing and saying, “Yes, now shut up”. But he proceeds to tell me about a church group that gets together to try and help one another find jobs and resources. Basically, this guy had the gall to come up to me, pretend to be civilized and then kind of mock me in a way, whether he knew it or not. This is one of the biggest mistakes that you can make in this situation.
I often wonder what the difference is between something like this happening to me and a similar thing happening to a homosexual. Imagine if instead of being unemployed I was a homosexual and not married. So this guy asks me if I’m married and I say, “No, I’m a homosexual”. And then what would this guy say to that? “Oh, I know you’ve heard all of the stereotypes that people have said before, but… Aren’t you evil and going to burn in Hell for your sins?” See the likeness? Sure, being unemployed and homosexual isn’t exactly the same thing, but you get the idea. Neither of what is being said in either situation is flattering to the person who is, for all intents and purposes, being victimized.
So rather than spend the next few paragraphs blasting people who have only good intentions in trying to help, let me offer to you the following advice. There are many ways to deal with someone who is unemployed.
The first (Though this will take some work on your part) is to find a really interesting job that just seems like a perfect fit for your unemployed friend and ask them about that. If your friend happens to, for example, shop on a nearly daily basis at H.E.B. and you happen to notice that they’re hiring, pointing that out to your friend might just seem insulting. (What? I’m some kind of idiot? Everyone else can see the hiring sign but me, and that’s why I don’t have a job yet? My not being employed isn’t for a lack of trying or being observant) When I first moved to Houston and was looking for a job, I saw an ad in the classifieds for a merchandiser for Nintendo. (Yes, that Nintendo) I thought the concept sounded AMAZING and it said that a background in customer service was preferred. I emailed and called like crazy until I was finally given a phone interview. Ultimately, I was blown off because it was a big deal where you would be flown to Seattle for training at Nintendo HQ and they actually had people with merchandising experience (which I didn’t technically have) apply, so you know, I got beat out by a more qualified candidate. But still, to me, that was one of those awesome jobs that I would have loved to do. So if you see something like that, then talk about that. If you know your friend is a big sports fan and you see a baseball stadium hiring for the concessions stands, then mention that to them. Don’t tell them that the local Target is hiring because they probably already know that.
And- this is the most important part, people- if you don’t know someone well enough to know their interests and what might qualify as a “really awesome job opening” to them, then there is one very simple thing that you can do. KEEP. YOUR. MOUTH. SHUT.
Now my other advice for all of those out there who are employed and wishing to talk with those who are not employed and help them out is this. As simple and stupid as it may sound: Find something else to talk about. I don’t think that I’ve ever had a job that I wanted to talk about outside of my working it. What’s more so is that if I were to land my “dream job”, I highly doubt I’d want to talk about that either. My dream job would consist of being given enough money to live off of for an entire year or two, as an advance, and then being told to write a novel that I had an idea for and when it was complete they’d pay me the rest. The advance would simply be so that I could buy food and what not and the majority of my time would be spent writing. Sure, I’d probably take weeks off at a time or risk going completely insane, but if I spent even eight hours a day or longer, five days a week or more doing nothing but writing a novel, do you think that on my off time the first thing I want to talk about is my writing? I’d say no. I’d say read the book when I was done writing it.
In conclusion, I’d like to say that the President of the United States himself, Barack Obama, recently posted a quote that roughly translated to him vowing to help people in rural areas find places that are hiring. It didn’t specifically say he was going to help people find jobs, per se, but rather help them find out who is hiring. This whole idea to me was somewhat insulting because it makes it sound like these people have never read the Employment section of a newspaper, searched for a job on the internet or picked up a free Employment Guide at their local Walmart. I’m sure most of the unemployed people out there who are actively seeking employment have Monster accounts already, Mr. President, but thanks for the support.
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