You Know, like Peter and That Lot

Title:  The Graves

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:   Bill Moseley is in this alongside Tony Todd.  It was one of the 8 Films to Die For.

Introduction:  This was purchased on clearance for $2.

Location:  Primarily in the same small town, but it looked to have some sort of location budget (or the town was just really creepy).

Plot:  Two sisters adventure on a last hurrah to find the… world’s… largest… thermometer?   Even typing that doesn’t feel right.   But yes, that is how this movie starts.   What they come to find is that this town is not only crazy but they’re also murderers.   You see, a cloud that kind of looks like the dirt that follows Pig Pen around infects these people’s minds and makes them want to kill.  I’m serious—if they ever made a real life Charlie Brown movie (please don’t) this is what Pig Pen’s mess would look like.   Anyway, these girls are in a fight for survival, which starts off almost right away and keeps going to the very end.   This is the pacing that this type of movie should have, as this movie is basically the opposite of The Reeds.

Acting:  One girl looks like a fake Jessica Biel, but you have Moseley and Tony Todd, so, you can’t go wrong.

Production:  It was in theaters, if only briefly, and looks as such.

Sex/Nudity:  Actually, no.   Though this movie does have what I like to call the P2 effect.  (Watch both movies and tell me what they share in common)

Special Effects:  When they’re there, they’re awesome.   In one scene, Bill Moseley gets his nose bitten off, which looks cool.   But in another scene, Momma gets stabbed in the face with knitting needles or something and they only show the back of her head.   So it’s hit or miss, but when you do see the blood it’s right on.

Overall Verdict:  This movie is called as such because it’s the sisters last name, not because of anything to do with a cemetery.  While the plot of it leaves something to be desired, the special effects are right on and at this point I’m only really watching most movies of this sort to see people be murdered and murdered brutally at that.  Unlike its counterpart, The Reeds, this movie delivers a much faster sort of action along with the blood I desire as a viewer.   The fact that it’s about two sisters and not a bunch of college aged kids out to party also helps in some way.  On a side note, is there really a World’s Largest Thermometer in Arizona somewhere?   And if so, did tourism drop after this movie came out?   I think that’d make an interesting documentary, whether or not the Thermometer even exists.   Side Note to the Side Note:  The stuff that controls them best can be said to look like Pig Pen’s dirt cloud, but it also kind of looks like a bunch of insects or the fart cloud we see in Ren & Stimpy.    Last Side Note:  When Bill Moseley gets his nose bitten off, he then stabs the girl that did it.  After she’s been stabbed, her sister finally knocks down Moseley’s character and kills him.   Why couldn’t the sister have done that right away his nose was bitten off and saved her from being stabbed?  I might just be over analyzing this, though, because at one time they seem to be carrying the wounded sister when moments later she’s walking around “no-selling” the injury.   And yes, to answer your question, this plot does remind me a lot of a wrestling match.   One sister falls down a hill or something (I wasn’t really paying attention) so the other takes the most punishment until baby sister comes back with a full head of steam.   Seriously, this movie should have optional commentary where it’s called like a wrestling match.   I’d do it for free.