Campy Comedy Thriller Must Mean Crap

Title:  Gothic Movie aka Good Girls Don’t Sleep In Coffins

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  Yeah… no.

Introduction:  I got this DVD from eBay for a penny.  I feel like I paid too much for it.

Location:  It actually has a couple different locations in a tricked out suburbia type of feel.  Someone who made this movie is probably the mayor’s brother or something and got free run of the town for the week or so it was likely shot during.

Plot:  No, no there isn’t.   Okay, check it out.  There are a group of girls who are “goth” and they want to sacrifice a virgin.   So they find a boy who will admit he’s a virgin- and he looks like a total Revenge of the Nerds reject- and he has these two friends who are some kind of awful band.   Well, you can pretty much see where this is going, right?  People die, people don’t, blah blah blah.   This was probably written on a napkin at Chuck E. Cheese.

Acting:  If you think the plot sounds like it’s lacking, then you need to see the acting.   This is totally a “this guy is my friend, so I’ll put him in the movie” or “this girl will take her bra off, she’s in!” type of deal.  If any of these kids ever took an acting class or had any idea what acting meant I’d be very surprised.   If you’re looking for characters that can suck you into the plot and make you feel like a part of the film… Well, these characters just plain suck.

Production:  It doesn’t have movie quality, but it isn’t as bad as it could be.  Still, you know it can be better produced, so it kind of makes the movie that much worse.

Sex/Nudity:  Yes, unfortunately.   It seems to be all that this movie has to offer.  Within the first twenty minutes or so, the boys hit a strip club.   Other than horny teenage boys buying this movie in hopes of seeing a nipple, this movie really has no market value.   And with the invention of the internet, I think they just lost all their potential fan base.

Special Effects:  Not very special.

Overall Verdict:  This movie is called a “campy comedy thriller” on the back of it.   The only one of these three terms that actually describes it accurately is “comedy”, though it’s funny in a much, much sadder way than intended.    People who don’t understand B Movies always make the mistake that B Movies have to be bad, or that in the same sense, any movie that is bad is a B Movie.  This, we all know, is not the case.   This movie…  This movie is just plain bad.  Save yourself seventy minutes of your life you’ll never get back and stay the hell away from this movie.