Go On Vacation, Go On and Die

Title:  Final Examination

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:   This movie boasts the most powerful stars of Kari Wuhrer and Brent Huff, who might have appeared in other things but nothing I can think of off the top of my head.

Introduction:  I bought this DVD on eBay for a penny.  Yes, I was once again ripped off.  It was listed as “horror”, and though it might seem as much in certain ways, it’s really more of just a “thriller” if anything. 

Location:  This movie is like a spring break setting for grownups.   But yeah, it pretty much takes place all on the same “island”, just with different hotel rooms or whatever.   I don’t know, I didn’t pay much attention to this when I realized that…

Plot: … This is your standard serial killer mystery type of movie.   The two actors I mentioned before play a pair of cops who are trying to figure out why people are dying.   It’s something that has probably been done a thousand times before, but possibly never as bad as this.   The only thing that scares me about this movie is that it was actually made.

Acting:  I want to save myself some time here, and let you know that for both acting and producing, this movie comes off looking like a late night softcore porn movie on Showtime.    Did they make this for the high quality of acting, production, cast, plot and all that jazz, or is this merely just one step above being at a 24 Hour XXX Only video store?  I think you can guess easily enough.

Production:  The tag line “You fail.  You die” should only prove that the people involved with this movie should all be dead by now then.   Really, if you’re going to choose that as the line across the front of your DVD case, and then you make this movie… I’m just saying, fair is fair.

Sex/Nudity:  Yes and yes.  It seems like every woman in this movie needs to get naked before she dies.   Even the two cops get it on in one scene—pointless to the max.  (But sadly, all that this movie really has to offer)

Special Effects:  I’ll admit, the DVD case actually does make this movie look a bit scary.  But again, trust me when I tell you, this is not a horror movie; it is just a horrible movie.

Overall Verdict:  If you want to watch this movie, you should probably wash your eyes out with acid and urine first.