People always ask me about my politics. What are my political values? I don't value politics because they don't value me. Left wing, right wing, chicken wing, I don't care-- you're all the same to me. Here's what I believe in. Give me any label you choose, it's your freedom.
If a man lives in a secluded area (let's say he owns a large piece of property) and he chooses to roam freely on such property without any clothes on while singing country songs, so long as no one can see or hear him, he should be allowed to do this. However, if this man happens to live in a subdivision or an apartment where his neighbors either don't wish to see him naked or just happen to hate Tim McGraw, then this man should not be allowed to do such things.
Basically, my theory on politics and the United States of America is that, very simply in its basic form, I believe in freedom. If what I'm doing doesn't harm you, then I should be allowed to do it. Obviously, killing, raping, stealing, etc., these are all things which pose an obvious threat to others and should not be legal. But what about some of the biggest things people don't want legalized while other people do? Let's look at them, shall we?
MARIJUANA, That's right, I said it-- POT. Should it be legal? Why the hell not? I vaguely recall a commercial where kids are driving a car while stoned and they run over some girl on a bike and probably kill her. All you Reganheads and "Just Say No" era straight laced gangsters need to get your facts in check. First off, people who are stoned are less likely to drive than people who are drunk. Potheads are most likely to eat everything in their pantry then fall asleep while watching Judd Apatow movies. Drunks drive home from bars, just remember that. Yes, pot could be dangerous, but no moreso than alcohol... which is legal. So as long as you put rules on it, sell it, tax it and use the money to fix my damn roads. (Though somehow this will probably start a debate to bring back prohibition)
GAY MARRIAGE. Why is everyone mad if two people of the same sex want to get married? You know what offends me as a married person? Not much, but how about the celebrities who are married and divorced the same day? Two guys getting married isn't what's making a bad name for marriage. The fact that you think of Megan Fox when you're having sex with your wife is what's ruining marriage. (Or Bruce Jenner) Does it offend you? Sure, but lots of stuff offends me. And we can't make being a redneck illegal, now can we? So the real question is, does it harm you? Nope. Legalize it and move on. It's called "Land of the Free", not "Land of the Free Only If You're Straight".
Next up. MEXICANS. People want to deport all the illegals. Why? They didn't come here the fair way? You're so justified in your cause because your ancestors killed many native Americans to get your spot here. You should learn to shut your mouth about immigration and go feel badly about your white guilt. If black people weren't slaves at one point (or good at sports) you'd probably try to deport all of them too. Right, White America? Pssh, White America. What an oxymoron. What happened to the place where all cultures converge? But not Mexicans. Nope, it's "give me your tacos and get the f--- out:". Do illegal Mexicans take your jobs? No, you just don't have a job because you're lazy and you don't want to pull weeds and take orders from some rich, lazy white dude like yourself. And what about them driving without licenses and insurance? You know how many legal people are here, driving without auto insurance? I bet there is a number there somewhere. You should look into that. Then you should legalize immigration. Don't have an "open border" policy. Make these people come in and get drivers licenses, pay taxes, be able to afford insurance and, oh yeah, earn a living wage. Mexicans aren't bad for this country- legal or not- people who think they are bad for this country are the problem. Besides, if we're going to deport anyone, let's check the immigration status on Justin Bieber.
What else offends you? I don't care. The question is, does it HARM you? And if the answer is "no" (which it probably is), then let it go and get back to your life. Everyone is a adult-child now. You hear me? You're all a bunch of stupid babies. Everyone is so over-sensitive these days. Sexual harrassment... Yeah, if money's not involved, not much you can do about that one. But everything else, man... stop being so concerned with other peoples business, all right? If meat is murder, soon vegans will rule the world and we won't be able to eat meat anymore. Think about it. In fifty years, pot will be legal but you'll have to go to some underground market for a hamburger that tastes like mice. This is what happens when you all get too sensitive. Is it better to be a vegan or eat meat? Who cares. It's not my soy you're eating, and it's not your cow I'm eating, so let's keep doing what we're doing. Now if you tried to eat someone I know, then maybe we'd have to start passing laws. But that's back to my original point: Human murder is wrong and offensive, but not murder of animals. What makes us so different? Your mom will miss you when you're gone, if somebody ate you. If I eat this cheeseburger... from a cow that was bred, and lived a life just to be slaughtered and fed to people like me... well, then that cow served its purpose and you can't really say anyone was harmed, right?
And don't get me started on religion.
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