So Many Jessicas, So Little Time

Title:  Let’s Scare Jessica to Death

Actors/Director/Anything Worth Mentioning Right Away:  No, no there aren’t.

Introduction:  I got this on DVD from eBay for an undisclosed amount.

Location:  Mostly at an old house with an apple orchard, though they sometimes journey into town and, well, they do drive to it in the beginning.

Plot:  Two men (one with a mustache) and a woman move into a new house that they somehow purchased.  It has a history though, and in fact it already comes with a drifter living inside of it.   Jessica (the lady moving into the house with her husband and brother/friend/I don’t know) sees things that aren’t there and hears voices.   So the movie becomes one big whole mind trip.

Acting:  This is from 1971, but is still very much part of the hippie movement.    The actors have this glazed over eyes look most of the time, mixed with their stoner attitude where they take long pauses and speak slowly.   I don’t want to say they’re bad actors, I just think they were on a lot of drugs given the time period.

Production:   It desperately wants to be a John Carpenter movie.

Sex/Nudity:  This is rated PG-13, but there is this one really creepy scene that is close to being nudity but isn’t.   After the foursome initially arrive at the house, they all decide to bathe in some water outside because they apparently don’t have indoor plumbing.   Well, the mustache guy is completely covered in soap as Jessica enters the scene, while the guy that is supposed to be her husband is washing the squatter.   The thing of it all is that they’re all, pretty much, in swimsuits.   The guys wear swim trunks while the girls wear enough to barely expose any skin.   At the end of the scene as well, Jessica jumps out and proclaims she’s done when she didn’t even get her hair wet.   But the relationship going on here between Jessica and moustache guy and then supposedly Jessica’s husband and tramp they just met just boggles the mind.   There is a whole lot of “I’ll do your back if you do mine” type of innuendo, albeit in clothes, but it’s just uncomfortable to watch.

Special Effects:   See: Production.

Overall Verdict:  This movie may not be scary by conventional methods, but for its time and all it has some creepy parts.   Watch it with an open mind, especially if you like 1970’s horror or if you have some peyote handy.    Let’s start discussing a remake starring Jessica Simpson, Biel or Alba.  Go!